Romney does Las Vegas

Time has come for Mitt Romney to prove it once and for all: Is he or is he not a unicorn?


Let me stipulate that I have no proof that Romney is a unicorn, and indeed I want to believe that he is not. But I haven't seen proof of this because he has not released the original copy of his long-form birth certificate.


There are many others who feel as I do — 18,000 people to be precise. I first began to consider the possibility that Romney might be a unicorn when I heard that Left Action, an online petition operation created by Democratic PR guy John Hlinko, was campaigning to get the Arizona secretary of state to certify that the presumptive Republican nominee is not a mythical beast before allowing his name to be on the presidential ballot.


"There has never been a conclusive DNA test proving that Mitt Romney is not a unicorn," the group wrote last week. "And if Mitt Romney is or may be a unicorn, he is not constitutionally qualified to be president."


The mittromneyisaunicorn.com campaign came about because Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett, citing allegations that the birth certificate President Barack Obama released is a fraud, threatened to take the incumbent off the ballot.


Obviously, the likelihood that Romney is a fanciful equine is no more plausible than the claim that Obama was born in Africa. So why is the unicorn fair game? Because Romney has made it so.


Not that Romney’s above making a trip to Vegas in search of a big score. Not only did he partner up with the odious Trump for a $2 million fund-raiser, he met with casino billionaire Sheldon Adelson, who funneled $10 into a SuperPAC for Newt Gingrich, which was only slightly more effective than funneling $10 million into a black hole. Romney might be as straitlaced as they come, but obviously he doesn’t have problems raising money with the likes of Trump, who has said despicable things about women and continues to attack the president’s integrity over the birthing issue, and Adelson, who has made a fortune on the gambling habits of all those regular working class people who lose their hard-earned money at the gaming tables and slot machines.


“It’s entirely possible that late in the evening of Nov. 6, the nation is going to be wondering what’s going to happen in Nevada,” Romney told a crowd in Vegas.


At that point, a man in the audience yelled out: “You can do it!”


“Yeah, exactly, that’s a good strong voice,” said Romney with a chuckle.


Oh, man. It would have been a major upset if Romney had recognized that the man was clearly doing an imitation of Rob Schneider’s catch phrase. But how great would it have been if the Mittster had figured it out?