Today's Choke-O-Meter went off the scale and was cancelled.
In its place were the wry words: "Today's Choke-O-Meter has been deemed too grisly for public consumption during a national state of emergency."
The paper tried to pep up the country with a rejuvenating six-pack- "6 Reasons To Cheer Up".
It was less than convincing when reason one read "No one in the All Black camp yesterday drew their last breath".
Reason six is still to be tested when the All Blacks start their cut-throat finals run in a quarter-final against Argentina in Auckland on Sunday: "It's not as if (back-up five-eighth) Colin Slade is a lemon as a footballer".
The overwhelming vibe is that cutting Carter out of the equation and losing the cool of his 85 Tests of invaluable experience has made the All Blacks more vulnerable.
That is a world away from saying they are suddenly easybeats. That is ridiculous because they are still a juggernaut in so many areas and have the strong bonds of a team that has embraced this tournament.
The All Blacks have not locked themselves away and fretted about 24 years without the World Cup. They have talked about the challenge and they have interacted with the public.
Rising star Israel Dagg is happily getting his photo taken with two Kiwi fans as this column is being written in Wellington's Arabica cafe.
Their players have chatted about the curse which in itself downgrades it to 24 years of bad luck.
The Wallabies will like the idea of facing the All Blacks without Carter but they have a consuming challenge of their own before finding a way to beat defending Cup-winners South Africa in their quarter-final on Sunday in Wellington.
WHY THE INVINCIBLE ALL BLACKS ARE NOW BEATABLE WITHOUT DAN CARTER?
That fear diminishes now that rugby's great closer is out of the tournament, just as Ireland's backrow gained great heart facing and beating a Wallabies side minus the irreplaceable skills of David Pocock. Rival teams will get a lift.
Carter's great knack has always been to underplay his hand, do the basics brilliantly and strike two or three telling times in a match like his grubber kick-and-regather gem for a try in the Super Rugby final. Replacement Colin Slade is unproven in this regard.
All Blacks captain Richie McCaw, a long-time close friend and Crusaders teammate of 29-year-old Carter, conceded the side had been dealt a crushing blow but had no alternative but to rise above it. "That's the way it is and it doesn't stop the tournament," McCaw said. "From a team's point of view, we have to keep marching on."
Ironically, Carter, who has been vice-captain to McCaw for 50 Tests, had been slated to captain the All Blacks for the first time before he tore the adductor longus tendon in his left groin during kicking practice on the match eve.
McCaw, who was sitting out the match to give a niggling foot injury the chance to heal before the sudden-death stage of the tournament, said he had spoken to Carter after he received the diagnosis, "the worst news you could get".
"I just feel for the guy," McCaw said. "He's pretty devastated to have it ended like that but I guess that's sport and it can happen to any one of us at any time."
He made no effort to disguise how big a setback Carter's loss at five-eighth represented to the All Blacks. "There is no doubt that he has been, in that position, the main guy for a long time so he leaves a big hole. You'd like it not to have happened," he said.
Wallabies coach Robbie Deans, who was Carter's mentor at the Crusaders and one of his key supports following NZ's shattering exit from the last World Cup at the quarter-final stage, expressed his sympathy at this latest cruel setback.
"Obviously it's a tough day for Dan," Deans said. "I feel for him hugely. I know how much he hurt after the last World Cup, so he'll be struggling with that right now.
"But the fortunate thing for him is that he's young enough to go around again."
The news about Carter plunged New Zealand into depression yesterday, with even former All Black great Waka Nathan despairing when told the champion playmaker was out of the tournament. "Christ, we've got problems . . . it's bloody terrible," he said.
But Deans did not share the view that the All Blacks could not win the Webb Ellis Cup without Carter. "They'll cope," he said. "They've got the ultimate event for the ultimate prize in the ultimate destination for them, playing in New Zealand."
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